Reflections

Aside from the doctors and nurses in the operating room (I had an unplanned Caesarean section), Brian was the first person Hank saw when he was born. Brian held Hank in his arms just minutes after his birth. He made sure Hank held on to his finger (skin-to-skin contact) on their way to the transitional nursery and made sure Hank knew he was not alone. I firmly believe Brian and Hank have a special connection because of this. I know Hank loves me, but my two boys have something...different.


First family photo
As soon as we brought Hank home from the hospital, it seems that Brian could always get Hank to sleep when no one else could. I have many, MANY photos of Hank comfortably nestled on Brian's chest, sleeping soundly. I also have photos of the two of them, passed out like old buddies on our bed.

Hank has been going through a very fussy phase the past few days. He's not napping very well at all and not sleeping as long through the night, either. He's been fussy during the day and yesterday was one of the roughest days we've had yet. It seemed as though I could do nothing right. Nothing to comfort my little one. He was just miserable yesterday. So was I. When Brian finally got home from work in the early evening, Hank lit up with a HUGE smile as soon as Brian walked in the door. It was adorable! But it also made me want to scream! That's all it took?! I felt like I jumped through hoops all day and all Brian had to do was come home. It was frustrating.

I'm hoping this fussy period is due to teething. It seems as though Hank has been teething for the past couple of months now, though there is not one tooth in sight! I feel as though someone has kidnapped my sweet boy and left me with a fussy, angry, miserable baby.

But, I know things will get better (it does, right?) and I keep reminding myself that my "worst" day at home with Hank is still better than my best day at work (I had a pretty stressful job situation). I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be home with him for 1 year. And he's growing so fast. When Hank is boycotting naps or when I still haven't brushed my teeth by noon, I often need to remind myself to savor each day, each moment. Being a stay-at-home-mom (for the time being) is the most difficult thing I've ever done. As with most other things pregnancy- and parenthood-related, you have no idea what people are talking about until you go through it yourself. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance being a mother and being a wife, taking care of myself, the household and my baby boy. I only hope and pray that the decisions I make every day are the "right" ones and that I take full advantage of these next 6 months.

And to end this post, here's a little video of my little man, passed out and snoring on his Daddy's chest. Be sure to turn your volume up. :) I live for these two and precious moments like these.